I did something brave, y’all, and I couldn’t be happier/more thankful/prouder. Well, okay, maybe “brave” is an exaggeration – I didn’t like, save a life or conquer my fear of rodents and heights simultaneously or anything. So, maybe I’ll just say that I did a baby-brave thing. Not world-changing, but huge for my own soul/self.
And what is this baby brave thing, you ask? Simply put: I asked for something that I’ve been wanting for a long time.
Monumental, right? And you want to know the most amazing part? I GOT IT. I asked, and I received. I’ve been wanting to reduce my work schedule for months now and so I ASKED for it. And this week marks the first week of my part-time schedule. And I’M SO THANKFUL. And feeling VERY (baby) brave.
And so – why the chair?
Well, I’m hoping that my new schedule will allow me a little more time in said chair: reading, relaxing, praying, and napping. And also, pregnant people are apparently supposed to avoid laying on their back, so I thought this would be a perfect little beach chair to aid in said reading, relaxing, praying, and napping.
I’ve thought about providing you with all of the prefaces that I’ve come up with when explaining to various people over the last few weeks about my desired work schedule (I know many people would LOVE my 9-5 job. I really don’t have anything to complain about with my work – my employer is flexible, my colleagues kind, and my company honorable. Many people don’t have the financial option to only work part time – this is such a privilege! I may be giving up some longer term career opportunities, etc. etc. etc. times a million.)
BUT. I’m going to save you from all those prefaces and trust that you know me well enough to know that I’m SO grateful to be able to adjust to this schedule (financially, lifestyle-wise, etc.) and that I don’t take it lightly.
Perhaps the giddiness will wear off, but for now, I just can’t stop thinking about how I actually got what I wanted. And I know that it’s not a colossal concept to simply request something that you want and then receive it, but I have realized over the past few months as I’ve contemplated this decision, that this apparently isn’t something I do easily. I think I’m usually pretty good about identifying what I want, but actually voicing those desires can prove difficult for me as I imagine the effect it will have on others and their opinion of me.
Quite frankly, it’s vulnerable to name a desire. Vulnerable, because you are showing a real part of yourself, and vulnerable because you are opening yourself up to the possibility of disappointment if, say, your desire doesn’t come to fruition.
Which is why this feels so brave to me. Or, er, baby-brave.