I’m not on Twitter. But if I tweeted, you can bet your twitterpated heart that my tweets would have looked a little something like this the last 8 days. Can you find the theme?
Shaun White. Come, my mama arms are wide open to embrace you and your tears. #allthekleenex
Like South Korean skeleton, my affinity for sliding headfirst down an ice tunnel at insanely dangerous speeds can go from zero to 60 when the hometown boy wins gold.
Hey @adamrippon – who does your eyebrows? #askingforafriend
Winter Olympics are exactly 1,354% more stressful than the Summer Olympics, where that track is nice and flat, there is no ice to be seen, and nobody wears knife blades on their feet.
Using the Olympic-themed Bitmojis like whoa. #yourewelcome
I’m not sure I’m cut out for this sport. The sport of spectating sports, that is. At least when “sport” equals people hurling themselves down an rock hard ice mountain at death defying speeds.
@bodemiller – I loved your skiing. Not so much your announcing. #getamped #stopthemonotone
Spent waaaaay too much time today contemplating what relationship could possibly withstand the pressure and risk of pairs figure skating. Those lifts are, um, intimate and (again) those are death blades on the bottom of her feet. #tildeathdouspart
I wonder what @bobcostas is up to this week. #missyabro
Why hasn’t anyone just said it? Curling is just bocce ball on ice, right? With two clean-freak friends sweeping alongside for no apparent reason. #ijustdontgetit
Everyday I’m Olympic-ing. Olympic-ing. Olympic-ing. #LMFAO #shuffling
@lesliejones continues to be my Olympic spirit animal. Except she seems to be handling the pressure better than I am. What’s your secret, girl? Also, how does one become an official “Olympic contributor?” I got skillz.
Hoping you are enjoying the Olympics as much as I am! (Except for when I have to walk out of the room because I can’t handle watching the falls. Or the crashes. Or the heartbreak. Or the crying mothers on the sidelines.)